Moving forward, most parents will watch their child flourish. The majority of premature babies go on to become strapping toddlers who are every bit as healthy as their full-term friends. By the time they start nursery school, yours may even be among the tallest and most robust in their class. You’ll also find that the extra focus you’ve needed to devote to growing your family comes with gifts, from a greater awareness of your well-being to strong bonds.

Bonding with your baby in the hospital may have been difficult, but after they’re discharged it should progress naturally. From the moment you brought them home, the most important thing you’ve given your child beyond tender, loving care is your attention. You cannot spoil a child with love, and almost any parent will tell you they wish they’d spent more time cuddling their babies. Don’t forget to celebrate every milestone, even those that happen with some delay or relate to recovery from illness. Every one of them is making your child a healthier, happier little person. According to a 2021 study published in Pediatric Research, the official publication of the American Pediatric Society, acknowledging a premature baby’s milestones can also boost parental mental health and foster a positive outlook for you and your partner.

Will my child have a harder time in early education?

The majority of children born prematurely will have their needs met by a regular nursery school. In the UK, all OFSTED-registered nurseries accept children with additional needs for individualised care. If your child has complex needs, your healthcare team or local education authority can advise you on the best options for them. You can also speak to other parents about their experiences. The charity The Smallest Things is founded and operated by parents whose babies were premature and campaigns for better information sharing between health and education services for children born prematurely, as well as more “prem awareness” in UK schools.

What can I do for my relationship?

Taking time out as an individual and as a couple is very important. After the turmoil of having a premature or ill child, it can seem impossible, but your baby is better taken care of when you and your partner take care of each other. It can be very hard to allow someone to look after your child when you are both getting used to caring for them, especially if they are still very tiny or on oxygen, but as they grow, you should feel confident enough to leave them with a friend or family member while you go out for a meal. We recommend watching Unii’s Love, Sex, and Parenting Journey with Relationship Coach Natalie Mossayebi for advice on reconnecting as a couple.

When you really can’t leave your child for long periods, take turns giving one another the evening off to enjoy reading, exercising, or luxuriating in the bath.

Stay aware of your mental health. Research shows that parents of premature babies are especially vulnerable to mental health problems, especially if the birth was very or extremely preterm. Remember that postnatal depression can develop up to a year after birth, so try to stay mindful of potential symptoms in yourself or your partner. These include persistent sadness, tearfulness, and low energy. Postnatal depression can also manifest as anxiety, OCD, and a number of other mental health issues. Always talk to your neonatal nurse, health visitor, or GP if something seems unusual.

What about when I go back to work?

Returning to work after parental leave can feel extra guilt-laden when your baby is premature or has been ill. Your child should not suffer during your absence if you leave them with familiar people they trust, whether those are extended family members, friends, or neighbours. They will also benefit from an environment with other babies and toddlers, especially if they have no siblings. In attempting a work-life balance, you can feel proud that you are restoring normality to your family’s routine after months of hospital time. You are your child’s favourite person, and ensuring you are fulfilled in your professional life can help you be happier and more present at home.

What about my next pregnancy?

One or multiple premature births increase your risk of having another, but every pregnancy is unique. If there was a clear reason for your previous experience, such as pre-eclampsia, your obstetrician can tell you about the likelihood of it happening again and what you can do to reduce your risk. It is normal to worry about having to relive the worst parts of your neonatal unit experience, but many parents who’ve had premature babies go on to have full-term babies and see both children thrive. It is always important to book a check-up with your doctor when you’re planning a baby, and airing your concerns about your history will be a useful part of that consultation.

What should I remember while going forward with my premature baby?

In this final article from our Premature Baby Journey, Unii shares some pearls of wisdom for empowered parents.