Your premature newborn’s care is a team effort between you and the neonatal unit’s staff. Babies stay in the NICU or other part of a neonatal unit until they are well enough to no longer need the medical support provided there. This can take weeks or even months. The way an average day progresses will depend on their individual treatment needs and stage of development. However, most days start with a ward round for the doctors to look at each baby in turn. The night staff will have shared anything that happened beforehand in a detailed handover. You will usually get regular updates from nurses and junior doctors, as well as intermittent visits from a consultant. This may not be the same consultant each time; day-to-day care is typically shared between them, but one should always be available to speak to you if you are worried about your baby. Rounds usually happen again at each shift handover, so staff are constantly up to date with your baby’s case. You may be able to stay with your baby while they are seen. Rounds can involve medical examinations and language that sounds quite technical.

Can I see my baby’s medical records?

The doctors and nurses should keep you well informed of what’s in your baby’s medical records. Typically, nurses will update the records with detailed observations every couple of hours. Notes are updated during rounds or whenever any significant changes or procedures happen to your baby. Information about your baby’s daily nursing care will be recorded in their bedside notes or, more commonly now, recorded electronically. If these are stored electronically, you can ask your care team to explain them to you.

Is having so many people handle my newborn safe?

Premature babies are extremely vulnerable to infection, and strict hand hygiene rules are enforced in neonatal units. Procedures like intubation for breathing and feeding can also make parents worry about hygiene. Before entering the unit, you and any visitors are expected to wash your hands with alcohol gel (or, if your hands are soiled, soap and water) and remove watches and jewellery. Nails should be kept short, and the hospital may have rules against artificial nails. Sleeves must be rolled up. You should gel your hands after touching any of the surfaces in your baby's space, including the incubator, drawers, and locker. Anyone suffering from a cold, tummy upset, or other potential bug should either stay at home or speak to staff about how to proceed. To further minimise the risk of infection, you’ll usually be asked to avoid bringing children into the unit unless they are your baby’s siblings. Most units will restrict visitors to no more than two at one incubator at all times, including at least one parent.

How can I feel less helpless?

As a parent, you play a vital role in the neonatal ward. Maybe you don’t fully understand everything you overhear when the doctors are doing their rounds or how every machine works, but that’s not your job. You are a parent. You can provide superior continuity of care and a feeling of comfort and familiarity for your child. Even the amazing nurses who give your baby’s everyday care will not have your voice or be their consistent, loving protector. Even if you have a very tiny, very premature baby, they will get to know you quickly and understand they are not alone when you’re around. As they grow, you’ll be allowed to do more for them, from changing to cleaning and feeding them.This will help you bond and give you confidence as a parent. You and your partner are the MVPs on your baby’s care team. If you want the staff to call you “mum” or “dad” around your baby, let them know. When major things happen or there are key decisions to be made, you have the right to have everything explained to you as often as necessary.

In some sad cases, parents may feel unable to involve themselves in their baby’s care, worried that bonding will make things harder if they don’t survive. The medical team will understand this and encourage them to spend time with their baby regardless, having lots of ideas about how to make this easier.

How can I get emotional and psychological support?

This is an excellent question. The first thing to remember is that you are not alone, nor are you weak or unstable for recognising that these aspects of your health require support. You can’t take care of your baby if you’re not taking care of yourself. Beyond helplessness, many parents of premature babies report feelings of self-blame and loss of control. The neonatal unit itself, with its alarms, sick infants, unfamiliar jargon, and complex medical equipment, can exacerbate these feelings. Watching the care team handle your baby with ease in those early days can even lead to something called parental role alteration, where a couple feels as though they are not parents to their own child. You should always speak to someone in the unit about the resources available to parents in your situation. UK charities, including Bliss, Tommy’s, The Early Birth Association, The Smallest Things, and others, also provide lots of information on how to find resources in your area.

What will my days with my premature baby on the NNU be like?

Unii looks at what your day-to-day will be like if your baby needs special care.