Once you are sure that you are pregnant, it is up to you when you want to tell people. In the UK, you’re not legally required to tell your employer that you’re expecting until before 15 weeks before your due date (that is about 25 weeks of pregnancy, though it may be obvious to them before then), but the choice is personal otherwise.

Telling family and friends

Deciding when to tell family and friends can be especially tricky. While many women prefer to wait until 12 weeks in case they miscarry, if a pregnancy does not work out, you will want your loved ones to rally around you. On the other hand, if you’ve experienced stillbirth or multiple miscarriages, telling people close to you can feel like too much of a risk. How many times can we expect our loved ones to jump on the emotional rollercoaster with us? Hopefully, your answer is “as many times as we need them to,” but again, it’s entirely up to you. One caveat we must mention is that telling family and friends in person is quite different from social media sharing, which can come with comments, reactions, ads, and annual reminders of past events that you may find unhelpful to your preconception and pregnancy journeys.

Telling someone who is grieving a baby or is having fertility troubles

There are few worse feelings than having your joy potentially exacerbate someone else’s pain. If you know someone who has recently been through miscarriage, stillbirth, or neonatal death, or is struggling to conceive, it is normal to want to hide your news from them. However, this can cause more pain, especially if they hear that you are pregnant from someone else first or see it on your social media before you’ve spoken to them. Make a plan for when and where you want to tell this person that allows them lots of time and space to react and talk as much as they want to in privacy. Their home may be a good choice. Then consider how you want to tell them. It may feel right to reassure them that you are fine with any reaction, there’s no right or wrong way to process the news, and you are here for them. You could also plan to remain emotionally neutral rather than show your natural excitement. Remember that any negative reaction is likely to be based on their own pain rather than anything to do with you; you don’t need to absorb it, and do not take it personally.

Telling healthcare, pharmaceutical, cosmetic, and complementary therapy professionals

It will likely benefit you and your baby to tell your dentist, dietitian, physiotherapist, psychologist, or any other healthcare professional that you are pregnant, as they will be able to optimise your appointments for each trimester.

Cosmetic procedures involving injections, including Botox and fillers, haven’t been tested on pregnant women. Most providers won’t do them for you, and you should be wary of any that agree to it. The same is true for tattoos in pregnancy.

Complementary therapies like acupuncture, aromatherapy, and massage include elements that are unsafe in pregnancy. However, managing your stress is extremely important in pregnancy. If you want to keep your appointments, it’s important to tell your practitioner immediately.

Telling your gym or personal trainer

Exercise in pregnancy is encouraged, and your gym or personal trainer should be able to advise you on a plan for each trimester, including times when you are feeling more tired or experiencing joint and ligament pain. Some forms of exercise are not recommended in pregnancy. Examples include contact sports, anything that prompts you to lie on your back, anything that may cause you to fall or requires lots of balance, and anything that requires you to strike an object, such as hockey.

Telling your hairdresser

Many women worry about dying their hair in pregnancy. While there isn’t lots of research on it, your doctor will likely tell you that this is fine. Some say that it's best to have someone else do it for you so you're not inhaling the chemicals during the process. In general, hairdressing is a positive thing in pregnancy. Maintaining your hair can make you feel like yourself when so much else feels unfamiliar. You may like to consider changing your stylist and colourist. Pregnancy comes with hormonal changes that typically make your hair feel fuller from week 15 and shed postpartum, though this isn’t the same for every mum. Your scalp can become drier, oilier, or more sensitive in pregnancy. The texture of your hair can change. The right stylist and colourist will support you through these shifts in a sensitive way and make helpful suggestions based on your hair type and styling and colour goals. Choosing the right professionals can be tricky; hairdressers tend not to advertise themselves as “pregnancy specialists,” so you may need to ask for consultations at a couple of salons or ask a friend who has recently given birth. Top tip: try to choose a salon close to your home or workplace, as you’re less likely to be patient during hair services when you’re tired and hormonal.

Telling your work colleagues

If you’re like us (i.e., lucky!) you’ve worked with dozens of women who have been fȇted around the office when they announce a pregnancy. From pink or blue cupcakes to cooing over ultrasound photos, some work teams could not be more supportive of this exciting time in life. However, every workplace is different, and if you really feel you don’t want to share the information, you may be able to limit it to a conversation with management before you are 25 weeks along.

Remember that pregnancy and maternity discrimination are against the law in the UK, including for a 26-week protected period after birth. ACAS has comprehensive advice on what constitutes these kinds of discrimination, but examples include dismissal, being passed over for promotion, or having your contractual terms, hours, or pay changed because of your pregnancy, because of any illness related to your pregnancy, or because you are breastfeeding. You should also be allowed time off for antenatal appointments and antenatal classes. If you feel you’ve been unfairly treated, you should report it to your employer’s human resources department.

Do you know what you’re having?

This is a frequently asked follow-up question when you tell someone you’re expecting. It’s fine not to want to know or tell anyone your baby’s gender. It’s fine not to want to tell anyone you’re having twins or triplets. In addition, even the sonographer who tells you what gender it is at your anomaly scan could be wrong about the gender (though usually not the number of babies in your womb!).

When are you due?

In our super-nosy social media age, it’s fine not to want to tell people your due date. Consider that, if you are overdue and everyone knows, you may receive a barrage of messages from well-meaning people asking whether you’re in labour yet. Some women choose to lie about their due date for this reason, although you still have to tell your employer the correct date.

For more information on how to handle every week of pregnancy, check out Dr. Shree Datta’s Unii Pregnancy Journey.

When can I tell people I'm pregnant?

From family and your employer to that friend struggling with her fertility, Unii has you covered.