Your child has just begun secondary school. It’s only the second week, but things seem to be going well. They’ve found some friends, they like their teachers, and they’re coming home every day with a beaming smile on their face. But then, one Thursday evening around the dinner table, they ask the question that you’ve secretly feared for a while now:

“Mum. All my friends have smartphones. Can I have one?”

If you’re dealing with this dilemma, the chances are you’re feeling conflicted. On the one hand, so much of a secondary schooler’s social life is online, and you don’t want your little one to be feeling like they’re missing out. But on the other hand, you know that smartphones are dangerously addictive, and you are afraid of the impact that it could have on your child’s mental health.

We know how tough this decision can be, so we thought we’d provide you with some guidance to help you make the right decision for your child. But first, let’s take a brief look at the data surrounding smartphone use for children.

How many children have smartphones?

A 2019 study involving 1600 children from the ages 8 - 18 showed that, by the age of 11, over 50% of children have a smartphone. By the age of 12, this figure rises to 70%. Perhaps even more remarkably, almost 20% of 8-year-olds own a smartphone.

Now, with this data in mind, let’s look at some of the associated risks of owning a smartphone at a young age.

What are the risks of my child owning a smartphone?

Mental health

Repeatedly, excessive smartphone usage among children and teenagers has been linked with higher rates of depression, anxiety, and suicide. Like most technological devices, smartphones are extremely addictive. When we use our smartphones, our brain releases dopamine, which is a ‘feel-good’ chemical. This means that when we are not using our smartphones, we crave the dopamine rush that our phones provide.

While this is true for people of all ages, children and teenagers are particularly vulnerable to the mental issues that smartphone usage can cause. At this age, the development of the brain can be significantly impaired, potentially leading to depression and anxiety. Significant smartphone use may also cause your child to become more impatient, irritable, and withdrawn.

Social media

Understandably, social media is one of the biggest concerns for parents considering whether to give their child a smartphone. A recent study showed that greater time spent on social media is linked to behavioural and emotional problems later on in adolescence. Sites such as Instagram can put a lot of social pressure on your child, potentially leading to further problems such as bodily insecurity, social anxiety, and an over-reliance on peer validation.

When a child or adolescent is without their phone, they may feel an unnatural urge to check their accounts to make sure that they aren’t missing out on anything important. This addictive quality of social media can make your child overly dependent on their smartphone. It may also lead to them going on their phone during family time, meaning they are missing out on important bonding experiences.

Other things to consider

Each child is different, so there is no exact age at which one should give their child a smartphone. However, as a rough guide, and depending on your child’s maturity, we suggest that you should wait until your child is at least 14 - 15 years old before giving them a smartphone. Here are some other things to consider when making your decision:

Don’t cave into external pressure. With more and more people in your child’s class owning a smartphone, there can be a lot of external pressure on the decision of when to give your child one. However, it is crucial to make sure that you do whatever you think is best. Some parents decide not to give their children a smartphone until they are 16, so don’t feel guilty if you are holding out until a later age. Remember, even if they seem upset now, they may thank you later!

Consider your child’s maturity. No one knows your child better than you, and the appropriate age at which to give your child a smartphone is dependent on their maturity. For example, if they have an addictive personality, if they are emotionally immature, or if they don’t understand the risks associated with technology, then these are indications that you should wait before giving your child a smartphone.

Give them a ‘flip phone’. As your child begins to become more independent, safety is no doubt at the top of your list of concerns. If you want your child to be able to contact you, but you don’t want them to have access to social media or the internet, giving them a ‘flip’ or ‘brick’ phone is an excellent alternative.

If you give them a smartphone, then set rules. Eventually, the time will come when you are ready to give your child a smartphone. However, that doesn’t mean that you should just leave it at that. To limit the potential impact, consider setting a limit on screen time and prohibiting smartphones in the bedroom, at the dinner table, and after a certain time. Also, make sure that your child would feel comfortable talking to you if they were struggling with the pressures of social media.

When should I give my child a smartphone?

Devices are a tough decision for many parents. Unii has some advice.