You’ve just finished a fresh batch of laundry. You’ve laid out clean clothes for your child to wear the next day. But come morning time, they’ve changed into their old smelly clothes! You don’t understand - Why is my child choosing dirty clothes? How can I change this behaviour?

Make no mistake, children can get messy! From flying food to little accidents, your child is guaranteed to pick up some stains and messes over the day.

What might not be easily explainable is if your child has a habit of wearing the same clothes every day. Even if you put out fresh clothes, your child might gravitate and even demand to wear the same stinky shirt or the same pongy socks!

But this is normal behaviour; a lot of children will go through this phase. So don’t worry! We’ve got plenty of strategies and solutions to help you and your child have a cleaner, fresher day.

What are the signs my child wants to stick to old clothes?

Here are the 3 signs that may signal that your child might be avoiding wearing clean clothes:

Your child quickly gets messy and dirty, with no regard for the state of their clothes.

Your child resists putting clothes out for laundry and may even hide them from you.

Your child may be asking to wear the same clothes constantly. They may even demand and get distressed if asked to put on clean clothes.

Why does my child not want to wear clean clothes?

As with a lot of behavioural patterns, there are lots of varied reasons a child might avoid clean clothes. We’re going to look at a few key points below:

A child might be comfortable being in that state because they see themselves as someone undeserving, dirty and messy. This has a lot to do with a child’s inner understanding of themselves and how they think they should be perceived.

They may also be following by example. If their environment is messy and dirty, they might think it’s okay to be messy and dirty themselves.

Your child might not understand how or why a piece of clothing needs to be cleaned. They might not be able to see why our clothes get ruined if we draw on them with a pen. It might also be hard for them to understand that if clothes don’t get put out for laundry, they don’t get cleaned.

A need for control might also be a factor. A child might be more comfortable knowing their clothes are already ruined, rather than the unpredictability of fresh clothing.

A child might also be resistant to transitions. They want to hold onto their old clothes because they fear something new and disruptive.

This sounds counter-intuitive, but your child might fear drawing attention to themselves. This can even include positive comments. A child might be worried that others will notice and comment.

Now that we know what causes this behaviour, let’s have a look at how we can prevent it!

How can I prevent my child from developing these habits?

This might sound like a problem that takes a lot of effort to fix, but if you follow our solutions and strategies, your child will feel secure in their routine and confidence.

Visual aids are a fantastic way to encourage your little ones to clean up independently and boost their confidence. Rotas for laundry day and clear instructions near the laundry basket can really help structure a child’s cleaning patterns. For instance, assign one laundry day a week for the child to make sure all dirty clothes are in the basket. This signals to the child that if their favourite clothes do not go in that basket, they miss out on wearing them for the next week. This is excellent at highlighting the cause-and-effect of tidying up after themselves.

Alongside the visual aids, make sure that time is allocated and set aside for the child to do their cleaning up tasks. As it becomes part of their weekly schedule, your child will become more confident about looking after their clothes and their environment.

If you can, an excellent way to ensure your child goes to school every day with a fresh uniform is to buy multiple sets. We recommend 1 brand-new set and 2 second-hand sets. Many schools have schemes that sell second-hand clothes for fair prices!

With that in mind, set aside time to wash uniforms every evening. A good plan is getting your child to change out of uniform straight after getting home, before a snack. Then it’s just a simple matter of putting it in the wash!
You may want to tell the school in writing why your child is having difficulties with clothing. If you’re feeling a bit anxious about this, then don’t worry! The school will understand, and help support your child.

It can be exasperating when your child comes home with stains at the end of the day, but it’s important to keep a cool head! You may need to take a few deep breaths, but saying something neutral like “Wow, looks like you had an interesting day!” instead of sounding tired and fed up can have a positive impact on your child.

If they aren’t putting their clothes in the laundry basket, you might want to explain again how the system works, demonstrating clearly where dirty clothes go.

If your child is refusing to put their clothes in the basket, set expectations that once a week you are going to check that all the laundry is where it’s supposed to be. Allocate yourself a good deal of time, as this won’t work if you’ve got other urgent appointments. Make it clear that whatever next activity the child has will not start until laundry is in the basket.

Finally, what can I do to make sure my child understands messiness?

Sit down with your child and point to each stain, wondering what might have caused it. This helps link the cause and effect in a child’s mind, helping them understand why their clothes might get messy.

If you feel like the damaging or dirtying of clothes is deliberate, get your child to help you hand-wash their clothes. They don’t have to necessarily do a decent job, but getting them to see how much effort goes into cleaning their clothes helps them to see the consequences of their actions. However, remember that this is a learning experience, not a punishment! Framing it as punishment will not help the child link it to cause and effect and will create deep shame, not help solve the problem.

Why does my child like wearing dirty clothes?

Keep calm and teach them to do laundry, says Unii.