In an ideal world, nothing our children do would phase us. We would walk around in a joyous and breezy manner. We wouldn’t react, we wouldn’t confront. We would be the best partners and the best parents we could be. All in all, we would go about life effortlessly.

But let’s face it, this isn’t the reality of being a parent, or running a family. Being a parent can be messy, upsetting, irritating, and triggering, at the same time as being incredible, beautiful, thrilling, and wonderful. While the good times more often than not will make up for the bad, it’s important we learn about how to manage the bad times better. And as you might agree, a lot of the bad times will start with parents losing their temper with their children.

Losing your temper with your child happens, so don’t think you’re the only one! But although it may be a normal occurrence within family life, taking a deeper look into the psychology behind our tempers is important when you’re a parent. It allows us to control them, and find ways to stop - not just for the sake of our children, but for the sake of ourselves, too.

So, let’s look at the reasons why you should stop losing your temper with your child.

Why should I stop losing my temper with my child?

It’s not good for you. Whenever you lose your temper, your nervous system fires up, and your body is filled with stress hormones, which will affect you negatively in every way possible. Not only can stress affect your immune system, but it can also increase your blood pressure, mess up your sleep, cause migraines, and even some long-term health issues. Over time, your brain will have become so used to ‘losing it’ that it will become automatic. It will also negatively impact your relationship with your children and might affect the way you see yourself as a parent too.

It’s not good for your kids. While having a meltdown once in a while isn’t good for you, it’s also not good for your kids. Their bodies are particularly vulnerable to the negative effects of stress hormones, as they are very much still developing. Whenever a parent loses their temper, a child can feel disconnected, scared, anxious, and ashamed. It can also affect their ability to function in daily life, tolerate new experiences, absorb new information, and will make it more likely that they will have their own meltdowns more frequently as they grow up.

Calmer parents make for calmer kids. The level of tension within a family home is very much affected by the mood of the parents. And this level of tension will significantly rise if the parents are exuding a negative energy or temperament. This is why it’s important to practice being calm. As when you are calm, this emotion will be absorbed by your kids. Even if they are having a tantrum that has nothing to do with your temperament, your calmness will positively contribute to helping them become more tranquil.

Why should I stop losing my temper with my children?

Keep calm and continue to communicate, says Unii.