Your baby has been home for some two weeks now, and in your eyes, they are perfect. All you want to do is spend time cuddling them and getting to know them. But as the non-breastfeeding parent, you can’t help feeling that you aren’t spending as much time with them as you would like.

You know that your partner is an absolute star for all of the time they spend feeding (even at night), and you try to do whatever else makes their job a bit easier – cooking, cleaning, changing nappies, etc. But you also feel a little jealous of the bonding they get to experience from feeding the baby. Sometimes you even catch yourself wondering whether your own bond might in fact not be as strong as theirs.

This is a common worry for partners of breastfeeding mothers, but we want to assure you that there’s plenty of bonding to be had besides feeding, and it’s just as powerful!

Why is it important for non-breastfeeding partners to bond with their babies?

When you spend time bonding with your baby, it helps them and you to form a strong emotional and physical attachment that lasts a lifetime. And if your child develops strong connections and loving relationships with you and your partner, they’re more likely to form secure and deep relationships later in life.

What’s more, these bonding experiences help to release hormones and chemicals that encourage brain growth and development; so it’s actually really important for your little one’s overall health to share a close bond with you.

How can non-breastfeeding partners bond with their babies?

Babywearing. Holding your baby close to your chest in a sling or carrier is pretty much as good a bonding experience as any parent could wish for. Not only does it allow for a parent to nuzzle their baby’s head and chat to them in a soothing voice, it also frees up your hands so you can get on with other things whilst growing your bond.

Skin-to-skin contact. Topless cuddles are a fantastic way to build on that parent-child bond. The close touch and smell generate the release of oxytocin (the love hormone), so it’s really important.

Co-bathing. Not only does co-bathing enable skin-to-skin contact, the warm water will also reproduce a calming state, reminiscent of being in the womb.

Baby massage. Massage is another good one for skin-to-skin contact and is a great way for non-breastfeeding parents to get to know their baby by touch. It will also prove relaxing for both baby and parent.

Reading. Reading books to your baby helps them to learn and love the sound of your voice, it deepens your connection, helps improve their language development and makes for a useful bedtime ritual. If reading is made a part of your baby’s routine, your voice and presence will become as important as a breastfeeding mother’s.

Practical care. Dressing, winding and nappy-changing might not seem like the most exciting parts of being a parent, but they offer up plenty of opportunities for bonding, as you can chat away and sing to your baby as you go about these tasks.

Try combining two or three methods for maximum bonding!

How can non-breastfeeding partners bond with their baby without a bottle?

On Unii’s Baby Development Journey, we look at how dads and other non-breastfeeding partners can bond with their baby.