If you’re attending a big and important event the next day or perhaps catching a plane in the morning, you’ll often go to bed nice and early in preparation, even before you’re tired. You brush your teeth, put on a comfortable pair of pyjamas, and close your eyes. But try as you might, sleep just won’t come, and the more frustrated you get, the harder it is to calm down and relax. You try counting sheep, though that never seems to work. So you get up and drink a glass of water before crawling back under the duvet. But then you need to use the bathroom! And after all of that, you’re still lying there, staring blankly at the dark ceiling.

Hopefully, this sort of thing will only happen to you once in a while, but in many ways, this can describe many children’s regular bedtime experiences. We go through the bedtime routine and tell our kids to ‘go to sleep now,’ and they lie awake, waiting for it to happen, even though they’re wide awake and full of energy. When sleep doesn't come, they get up and play with the toys in their bedroom or begin to roam around the house. They wander into the living room, and we tell them once again, ‘Go to sleep!' The trouble is, they don’t always know how! They may well climb into their bed, but once they’re safely and comfortably tucked under the duvet, they have no idea what to do.

While it certainly helps to create a soothing bedtime routine before bed, sometimes this just isn’t enough. By teaching our kids how best to relax once they’re in bed, they’ll soon learn to fall asleep on their own. With this in mind, let's look at a few ways we can help our little ones fall asleep.

How can we teach our kids to fall asleep?

Use as many or as little of the following six steps that best suit you and your child, and don’t be afraid to mix them up!

Reading

There’s simply nothing better than a story before bed! Not only is it enjoyable for both you and the kids, but it will also keep them still and quiet, helping to induce sleepiness. And what’s more, reading every day will help to develop your child’s language skills. We recommend making a day of visiting the library and letting your little one choose a big stack of fun and interesting bedtime books.

Audiobooks and music

Now, if your child is a story lover, you may find that as soon as you’re done with one book, they’re begging for another. Since you probably don’t have time to read ten books every night, set a limit on how many you’re prepared to read and pop on an audiobook before turning off the lights. A nice story narrated by a soothing voice is sure to send them off to sleep. Just make sure they aren’t listening to anything too scary!

Similarly, some children enjoy falling asleep to calming music or natural sounds. But have a quick listen beforehand, so you don’t accidentally blast the bedroom with heavy metal music!

Massage and yoga

Despite our best efforts, kids will often hop into bed brimming with newfound energy. You may wonder, ‘How are they ever going to fall asleep when all they want to do is run, dance, and play?’. In a case such as this one, massage might be the answer. Massage relaxes the body, relieves tension and stress, and helps to promote sleep. Surely there’s no better way to end the day!

Thankfully, you don’t need to be an expert masseuse, as children tend to only enjoy a soft foot or back rub. However, be sure to watch a short clip on YouTube or get hold of a massage book for parents if you’re a little unsure. Given that massage induces sleep rather quickly, make sure to get their teeth brushed and their pyjamas on before you go about giving them a gentle shoulder rub. Children love to be held, so incorporating massage into their nightly routine can act as a very special time for both you and them.

If you practice yoga, you may want to incorporate it into your child’s bedtime routine; partake in a few simple stretches and slow and steady breathing exercises, helping them to stretch and relax their growing bodies.

Progressive muscle relaxation

‘Progressive muscle relaxation’ is an effective technique developed in the 1940s. In short, it involves focusing on each body part, helping the body relax one body part at a time. By talking your child through this process, they will eventually learn to take themselves through it all on their own and go to bed feeling calmer and more relaxed.

You may also want to speak in a soothing voice, saying something along the lines of, “Breathe in. Breathe out. Wiggle your toes. Your toes are relaxed and sleepy. Now your feet are warm and sleepy too. Your legs are feeling calm and tired”, and so on.

Clearing the mind

Like us, children’s minds tend to race at night. They might think about the day’s activities, or perhaps they’re simply excited for what the morning will bring. Whatever the case, there are a couple of techniques you can teach your child to calm and clear the mind:

White paper. Once they’re lying down in bed, have your little one imagine a blank sheet of white paper. Then describe a paintbrush dipped in light blue paint, slowly drawing on the blank canvas. You could describe the paintbrush as drawing a bear or an elephant, or simply some lines, dots, and swirls. Initially, you’ll need to talk your child through the process, but after a few days, encourage them to imagine the painting technique all on their own.

Peaceful imagery. Once your little one is lying comfortably in bed with their eyes closed, let them know you will tell them a little story. Speaking slowly and quietly, describe a peaceful scene, such as a warm and sandy beach. You could describe the long green grass gently swaying in the wind or the dark blue waves rippling in the distance. Eventually, when they’ve come to know the scene well, they can conjure the peaceful image all on their own.

Aromatherapy. If you’re interested in aromatherapy as a sleep aid, we recommend that you buy products specially designed for children.

How do I teach my child to fall asleep?

For Unii’s Toddler Sleep Journey, we look at how to teach your child to fall asleep.