When you give birth, you can experience an intense separation from your baby, who had, until then, been inside your body for nine months. Now, your little one is out into the world, ready to blossom into their own person. The task now as a new parent is to learn how to see them as an individual.

The foundation of a healthy parent-child relationship is allowing your child to have their own wants and needs without trying to control them. Remember, your baby is their own person as much as you are your own woman.

So let’s take a look at some ways to help you fully accept your baby as they are:

Avoid taking other people's comments too seriously. Be prepared for all kinds of comments from others about your baby. Some are easy on the ear, others extremely difficult. You’ll likely receive many compliments, as well as complicated compliments such as “that’s a he? Well, he looks like a cute little baby girl.” You’ll likely get criticism such as, “you really need to dress him in something warmer”, or comparison comments like “she’s so tiny for a 6-month-old.” Sometimes other people’s comments will get to you; even the most confident of mums sometimes feel irked by the comments from strangers. But the less you can look to others for validation, the more confident a parent you’ll be, and the more secure your child will be.
Support the individuality of your child. Remember, there is no such thing as perfect. If your child is going through a challenging phase, try not to see these phases as “problematic.” Surrender to each phase your baby goes through, accepting them as they are. There is no such thing as a perfect mother, and there is no such thing as a perfect child.
Try not to become distracted by goals. All developmental milestones are basically created for doctors to track a baby’s development. It can be easy as a new parent to become obsessed with a baby’s development - growth, height, first words, first steps etc. But it’s all just numbers and in no way a reflection of how good a mother you are. If your baby is healthy, that’s all that matters. And if your gut is saying something is wrong with your child's development, always get a professional opinion.
Nurture your emotional state. Your baby can’t read your mind, but they can read your face. A mother’s emotional state, which impacts facial expression and warmth of affection, is essential for her child’s growth. Your baby has an innate need to communicate and to see and be seen long before they can speak or understand language. Showing you accept your baby in every way will shape how they feel about themselves.
Let your baby show you how to parent them. Your baby knows what they need from the moment they’re born, and they are always doing their best to communicate that with you. They will get your attention when they need you and push you away when they’re ready to explore on their own and find independence. The best thing you can do as a parent is let your child show you the way.

How to accept your baby as their own person

Your baby will be impacted by how you respond to them, so stay positive.