Each and every birthing experience is different, but not a single one is easy, as you’ll well know! You’ll also know that the birthing experience isn’t something you simply leave behind in the hospital when you head home with your baby for the very first time, because giving birth changes you both physically and mentally. So, it makes perfect sense that this experience will also affect your sexual life.

However, by understanding the impact of the experience on the birthing mama, you as a couple can then discover new and creative ways to experience romance, intimacy, and connection in your relationship.

So, let’s dive in and find out how birth affects the mother’s body.

What are the physical effects of the birthing experience?

To say that giving birth to a baby is physically demanding for a woman is an understatement. Belly and vaginal births can be traumatic for the birthing mother’s body, with injuries and tears being a common occurrence. And recovering from a caesarean section can be just as uncomfortable an experience. As you’d imagine, these physical injuries can have a huge impact on your sexual life for quite some time.

Although the postpartum checkup covers important topics that look at an assessment of postpartum depression, birth control, and how physically ready you are for sex and exercise, much of the physical and emotional impact of childbirth isn’t spoken about or tended to and can therefore have a ripple effect on sexual desire.

So how can you support each other following the birth experience?

How do we support each other and build intimacy after birth?

Here are some tips to support you and your partner during the aftermath of the birthing experience and bring a deeper level of intimacy and connection to your relationship.

Tips for birthing mums:

Keep communicating how your body is doing with your friends, family, and especially your partner. Finding a community of other mums at the same stage as you can be very healing, indeed.

Keep sharing your birth story as often and as many times as you need to. This is a crucial part of your emotional healing.

Spend time each day tuning into the needs of your body. Be gentle, avoid physical labour, and take many baths. Deep breathing while in the bath can be so nourishing for the body and soul.

If you are able to, get support from postpartum healing specialists. For example, those that specialise in bodywork such as massage, physical therapy, and acupuncture

Tips for non-birthing partners:

Understand that your partner has undergone an incredibly dramatic, sometimes traumatic experience, which means it will take time for their body to fully heal. Be patient with the time and space it will take for healing.

Ask your partner often how they’re feeling and if they need anything from you.

Encourage your partner to self-heal and reach out to professionals who can support their healing.

Do as much childcare and housework as you can during this time.

How does the birth experience affect your sex life?

On Unii’s Love, Sex and Parenting Journey, we look at how the birth experience affects the sex life of new parents.