It’s a Friday evening, and you’re tiptoeing out of your two-year-old daughter’s room, having just soothed her to sleep with a bedtime story. Tonight, you’re feeling hopeful. This is the third night in a row your daughter hasn’t woken up after you’ve put her to bed, and you’re hoping this evening will be the same.

You make it down the stairs without making any noise and sit down on the sofa. A moment passes, and another, and another. You break into a smile. For a moment, you can relax. No crying, and no sound of little feet coming down the stairs.

However, after a few minutes, you hear soft crying coming from upstairs. You sigh.

What is it this time? Is her dummy on the floor? Does she want a cuddle? Is her acid reflux playing up? How is she ever going to move past this stage? She’s going to be exhausted in the morning!In this day and age, we know that sleep is one of the most important elements of living a happy and healthy life. However, when it comes to children, making sure they get enough sleep at the right times isn’t always that simple.

However, if you take the time to educate yourself on some common sleep issues that children can experience, then you’ll be much better equipped to deal with any sleep-related issues you may come across.

So, let’s learn about them!

What are some common sleep issues I need to know about?

Sleep regressions:

Many parents find that if they can blame their child’s sleep issues on an age-determined sleep regression, then they can tell themselves that it’s not something they can alter or control. However, there is usually a valid reason why a child has a sleep issue. So if you find your child experiencing problems with their sleep, don’t dismiss it.

Separation anxiety:

Separation anxiety can be very difficult for both children and their parents, as a child will typically become very clingy and cry when their parent leaves the room and won’t want to be held by anybody else. However challenging this behaviour can be, remember that it is typically something many toddlers will go through. To solve separation anxiety, try to understand what has sparked this change in behaviour and take steps to understand what the underlying issue could be.

Nightmares and night terrors:

Even though many children will experience them, nightmares and night terrors are very scary for children. It can be unsettling for the parents, too! However, it’s important to remember that most children will grow out of them without any long-term psychological harm. The difference between the two is that nightmares occur during REM, or ‘dream’ sleep, and can be more easily remembered because we often wake as a result of them. Night terrors occur due to the hyperarousal of the central nervous system during sleep. Although it can look a bit like a nightmare (the child could be physically moving around like they're stressed or scared) and their eyes may be open, they are still asleep and won't remember anything about it in the morning because they are in such deep sleep. They may also not be receptive to comfort, and they may scream and thrash around.

Acid reflux and dietary issues:

Acid reflux is a problem that can heavily affect a child’s sleep and has been seen by many parents as a continuous issue. However, acid reflux can be helped through a change in diet and more effective management of a gastro-oesophageal reflux problem. Remember that even though you may have heard the generally accepted ethos that children grow out of acid reflux by the time they are six or twelve months old, this is also a misconception. It takes proper action to solve this problem in order for your child to sleep comfortably. If your child has a known problem with acid reflux, lying down to sleep can make it worse. Other dietary issues can also make a difference to their comfort while trying to sleep, so if you have any concerns, it is worth speaking to your GP or another child health professional for advice.

Now that we’ve looked at some common sleep issues your child may experience, let’s look into how you can remove some common sleep crutches that many parents face. But first of all, what are sleep crutches?

What are sleep crutches?

Sleep crutches are associations that a younger baby might have come to rely on for sleep, such as feeding to sleep. However, toddlers can also still experience them. If this is your situation, then remember that it’s never too late to change it.

Feeding to sleep: Feeding to sleep is when a child has come to rely on feeding from the breast or bottle in order to fall asleep. If you are still engaging in these behaviours in order to help your child fall asleep, it may be challenging to change this routine, but it’s definitely possible. In order to help your child move past this phase, you may at first still need to give them a milk feed before they go to bed. However, try to ensure that they go down awake, or at least drowsy, and definitely not fully asleep. This is because your child needs to learn how to put themselves to sleep.

Nighttime feeds: By the time your child is a toddler, they should have moved past nighttime feeds, as this is something that many babies start to move past around the time they are weaned onto solid food. Although it may be deemed acceptable by some, by toddler age, your child’s digestive system should be able to follow their natural biological clock of the 2-hour split, defined by day and night. Therefore, they should have moved past this phase. Although there isn’t an easy way to stop this habit if your child has it, you can gradually reduce the volume you offer them or water it down over a few days. After this time, your child will begin to get used to sleeping without them.

The dummy: The dummy is the most common sleep aid for children, but it massively hinders sleep, as parents will often need to get up during the night to replace the dummy or pick it up off the floor and give it back to them when their child has thrown it while in bed.

Contact-sleep strategies: Toddlers will often get very comfortable having their parent stroke them, rock them, pat them, hold their hand, cuddle them, or lie next to them until they fall asleep. However, these aren’t sustainable strategies for the long run. If your toddler is like this, try replacing the contact with other reassurances. A soft toy or comfort blanket could really help!

Delaying tactics: We know you love your little one more than anything, so incorporating delaying tactics where your child says things like ‘I’m scared’, ‘I need the toilet’, or ‘I need a cuddle’ can be very challenging. However, you need to set firm boundaries in this situation and create some ‘bedtime rules’. You’ll be surprised at how quickly things can change!

What are some common sleep issues and sleep crutches?

In Unii’s Toddler Sleep Journey, we look at some common sleep issues and sleep crutches.