Once the initial excitement of finding out you’re pregnant begins to wear off, the anticipation and fear of childbirth begin to loom over you the further you get into your pregnancy.

These fears are completely normal and to be expected. It’s the biggest transformation of mind, body, and soul you will perhaps ever go through, so of course, anxiety is bound to bubble up.

First of all, it’s important to point out that imagining your worst fear happening during labour doesn’t mean it’s going to happen; it just means you’re having a very normal response to a huge transition.

So, let's take a look at some of the fears you may be having associated with childbirth and what you can do to soothe them.

Fear of pain

It’s likely that you’ve heard a lot of stories from people about how their birth experience was. It will likely be somewhere in between “powerful and magical” and the most hellish experience they’ve ever been through.

If you are scared of feeling extreme pain, as most people are, then you can rest assured that modern medicine has a lot of options to support you. And there is absolutely nothing to be ashamed of when using medication to ease the pain. Numbing the pain of childbirth doesn’t make you any less of a woman. It’s about deciding what’s right for you.

If you prefer a natural birth without medication, then there are many techniques being used today that have helped women survive childbirth since the dawn of time. These include breathing exercises, movement, visualisation, and other techniques involving the mind and body. Working with a doula can be a great way to learn these techniques.

Remember, the pain is temporary, and at the end of it, you’ll have a baby!

Fear of losing control

No matter how organised your birth plan is, nothing can prepare you for the unpredictability of labour. Nothing is guaranteed, and your and your baby’s bodies will be doing things that are way beyond your control.

For some women, the fear of losing control can be tied to past experiences that might have involved physical, emotional, or sexual trauma. Laying naked with your private parts exposed to a room full of strangers is daunting, even for someone who has experienced no past trauma, let alone for a woman who has painful memories associated with similar experiences.

If you do have past traumatic experiences, consider how you can make the birth experience safer for yourself. You could ask the carers to be aware of any past trauma. You could also ask people to ask your permission before touching you. And maybe you’d like to consider hiring a doula who specialises in working with women with trauma.

While you can never predict what will happen during birth, you can always discuss your needs ahead of time.

Episode 18, Part 1: What are the most common anticipatory fears of childbirth (Part 1)?

On Unii’s Giving Birth Journey, we try to allay some common fears about childbirth.