As a parent, you’ll be well used to a little one prodding you awake at night or calling out to you in a panic after waking from a scary nightmare. You go to them and do your best to comfort them, but it takes some time, and they call for you each time you leave. So in the end, you scoop them up and take them to your own bed or set a mattress down beside theirs and doze until they’re asleep.

Nightmares are very common amongst young children and certainly not something you need to be especially worried about. But they can certainly be unpleasant, disturbing your child’s sleep and your own. So, what’s the best thing to do when your child has a nightmare? Is there anything you can do to prevent them?

Before we explore a few different strategies, let’s clarify what constitutes a nightmare and find out what causes them.

What are nightmares?

We all have dreams. Some are exciting and happy, some are neutral and rather boring, and some are bad. Nightmares are bad dreams that cause us to partially or fully wake. Nightmares can be particularly frightening because we still experience the emotions of the dream after waking. This is even more frightening for a child who might struggle to separate the real from the imaginary.

Nightmares generally happen in the second half of the night, when we have most of our Dream (or Rapid Eye Movement) sleep.

So, why does my child have nightmares?

As with dreams, we can’t be entirely sure what nightmares are or why we have them, but in children, they’re typically linked to the following:

An erratic sleep schedule.

Being overtired.

Seeing a scary movie, TV show or book.

Eating a heavy meal before bed.

Now that we have a better understanding of what causes nightmares, let’s explore how to prevent and respond to them.

How should I prevent and respond to nightmares?

A peaceful bedtime routine

It’s very important to establish a peaceful and consistent nap and bedtime routine, napping (where applicable) and going to bed at the same time each night. Allow 30 - 40 minutes for the bedtime routine, and save a little time at the end to read them a book or listen to some calming music. Nightmares are more common when a child goes to bed feeling stressed and tense. So, we recommend a quick massage or a soothing bath to help relax your child before they fall asleep. Design your sleep routine to cater for 10 to 11 hours of sleep a night and a 1 or 2-hour nap in the early afternoon (if your child is around 3 years of age).

Monitor TV and books

In this day and age, our children have very easy access to screens. This is both a good and bad thing. While a lot of children’s TV shows are fun and informative, it’s not always easy to monitor exactly what your child is watching or to know what will and won’t scare them. And even if they’re seemingly absorbed by their train set, they could still be catching glimpses of the drama you’re watching on the TV. Or maybe they’re watching a harmless video on YouTube and accidentally click on something a little less child-friendly. What’s more, it’s difficult for children to decipher what’s real and what’s imaginary. A scary cartoon character could be as real to them as their best friend.

For this reason, try to keep an eye on the material your child takes in from any TV shows, films, and books, and steer clear of anything you suspect will scare them. Installing a parental control system on your home devices might be the easiest way forward.

Let them begin the discussion

Children will often forget about a nightmare come morning, and even if they do remember, they probably won’t be thinking about it very much. With this in mind, it’s best to let them come to you. If they want to discuss the nightmare, listen with interest before telling your own version of the nightmare, ending with a happy resolution. Perhaps the monster is friendly after all, or maybe your child chased them away! An older child might feel better if they draw the nightmare on a piece of paper that is later crumpled up or torn apart.

Your response

When your child has had a nightmare, make sure to stay calm. This will show them everything is okay and there’s no cause to worry. Offer them plenty of comfort with a big hug or a back rub until they fall asleep once again. You may need to stay with them for a while to continue to comfort them. It’s best not to look under the bed or check in the wardrobe, as this sends a message that you think there is something to look for and be scared of.

What do I need to know and do about nightmares?

From Unii’s Toddler Sleep Journey, we share what you need to know and do about night terrors.