Just hearing the term ‘sleep training’ can make many parents shudder. It’s become such a loaded term and a hot topic among parents nowadays.

Sleep training essentially means helping your little ones fall asleep by themselves. There are many methods, ranging from a gradual withdrawal where your physical contact gets less and less over a number of weeks to the ‘pick up, put down method’, to the ‘cry-it-out’ method.

The cry-it-out method especially seems to have become synonymous with the term'sleep training’ and is now a touchy subject highly debated within the parenting world. The implication is that by choosing to explore the cry-it-out method, you are essentially leaving your child to cry themselves to sleep. As a result, just the mere mention of sleep training can elicit angered responses from some parents, branding parents who choose this method as “cruel” and “heartless”. Ouch!

We acknowledge that there is a tonne of misinformation flying around, which we feel is unnecessary, so we want to debunk seven sleeping myths that will hopefully put your mind at ease and dispel any worry and anxiety you may have around this topic.

What are the myths surrounding sleep training?

Myth number 1: If you let your child cry, they will hate you.

Fact: There is an abundance of research to show that there are no negative effects on the child-parent bond as a result of sleep training. Quite the opposite; many studies show that sleep training actually improves security between parent and child.

Myth number 2: If you sleep-train your child, it means you can’t snuggle with them at night or sing to them anymore.

Fact: Sleep training doesn’t mean you have to stop doing the things you love to do with your child. You can absolutely continue these activities as part of your bedtime routine. During sleep training, the only time you need to avoid these activities is in the transition from wake to sleep. Don’t worry, you’ll always be able to include snuggles, kisses, head rubs, and songs in your bedtime routine. In fact, it’s very important that you do!

Myth number 3: During sleep training, you can’t share a room with your child.

Fact: As long as you implement clear boundaries, it’s absolutely fine to sleep in the same room as your child during sleep training.

Myth number 4: Sleep training only benefits the parents, not the child.

Fact: While it is true that parents often sleep better as a result of sleep training, the point of sleep training isn't for the parents. Proper sleep is essential for your child’s healthy development—in every area! The key is to follow the natural rhythms and biological clock of your child.

Myth number 5: There are long-term risks associated with sleep training.

Fact: You just need to look at the scientific research to find that there are no long-term risks associated with sleep training. Many studies show long- and short-term improvements in sleep quality for children and parents’ mental and emotional well-being.

Myth number 6: After sleep training, your child will sleep through the entire night.

Fact: Let’s look at this realistically: most adults don’t even sleep through the night. We wake many times through the night, whether it’s to go to the toilet, change positions, etc. We generally have a brief awakening each night after every sleep cycle (although not in the first couple of cycles), which was a chance for us to check that our surroundings were still safe. So we are biologically programmed to wake up. It's just that usually we go straight back to sleep and don't remember it in the morning. Children will also wake many times, but the point of sleep training is not so they never wake through the night; it’s so they can put themselves back to sleep after they wake.

Myth number 7: Sleep training means leaving your child to cry themselves to sleep.

Fact: For parents who are firmly against letting their child cry but are constantly frustrated by the lack of sleep they’re getting, there are other techniques that don’t involve leaving your little one to cry. It is entirely up to you to decide (and research) which method suits you and your family best.

What is sleep training, and what are the myths surrounding it?

On our Unii Toddler Sleep Journey, we look at sleep training and bust some myths.