Appreciation is the central ingredient to any healthy relationship. It’s the glue that keeps couples feeling strong, empowered and happy. But it’s not something that always comes naturally. Appreciation needs to be practised and nurtured on a regular basis.

When you become parents, it’s very easy to forget the reasons why you were attracted to your partner in the first place; the things that made you laugh, the things that intrigued and fascinated you; all the things that made you fall in love at the beginning of your relationship.

So, it’s important to keep remembering and focusing on all the wonderful things you love about your partner, not only to help you bounce back from conflict more easily but also to create a positive and safe environment for your little ones.

Let’s explore ways that you and your partner can nurture an appreciation for one another that benefits the whole family.

What are ways that I can show appreciation for my partner?

The following five steps offer differing but fundamental ways of showing appreciation. But that’s not to say that you can’t also come up with your own unique approach to appreciation!

Appreciate the little things your partner does

A core human need is to be seen, heard and loved. When your partner feels fully loved for who they are, magic happens. So often we look for the mistakes our partner makes rather than their contributions. If your partner changes a light bulb, fills up your glass of water before bed, or knocks while you’re in the bathroom, notice it. Appreciate it and say how grateful you are for these small considerations.

Swap your expectations for appreciations

Instead of expecting your partner to come home on time or cook dinner by the time you’ve come back from work, appreciate it when they do do these things. The win-win of appreciation is that not only does it feel good to the person who is appreciating, but the person on the receiving end of appreciation is then motivated and empowered to do and say more positive things. Appreciation is contagious!

Words of affirmation

Find ways to compliment your partner and tell them how much you appreciate them. Compliment the way they look, what they do, how they parent, and leave little love notes around the house and tell them you love them, often. Just remember to be authentic and speak from the heart. Mean what you say. If you don’t, your partner will feel it.

Surprise them

Do something nice for them for no reason at all. You could book them a massage, buy them a book they’ve been wanting, cook them their favourite meal, or surprise them by taking them out to one of their favourite places. These small but surprising gestures of appreciation go a long way and will make your partner feel loved and important.

Give them a day off from responsibilities

Offer to take the kids for the day while they go out with their friends or do something nice for themselves. Suggest that they sleep in while you take over for the morning. Do the jobs that they usually do and let them simply relax. While it may, for one day, mean more work for you, it will go a long way in helping your partner to feel truly appreciated.

How does mutual appreciation bring new parents together?

From Unii’s Love, Sex and Parenting Journey, we share why holding your partner in unconditional high regard is so important.